


Bill And Ted's Most Unprecedented Prom Experience

by Write_your_letters_in_the_sand



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: But before Bogus Journey, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Pining, Prom, Set post B&T Excellent Adventure, idk - Freeform, they gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:49:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24637090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Write_your_letters_in_the_sand/pseuds/Write_your_letters_in_the_sand
Summary: Bill and Ted go to every highschooler's most anticipated dance - Prom. But things don't go exactly as planned, making their night go from excellent to bogus. Can anything change this most non-triumphant moment?(Both Bill and Ted are in their final year of high school, they are 18 in this fic!)
Relationships: Bill S. Preston Esq./Original Female Character(s), Ted "Theodore" Logan & Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted "Theodore" Logan/Original Character(s)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 262





	Bill And Ted's Most Unprecedented Prom Experience

**Author's Note:**

> My first and maybe only Bill & Ted fic. I have no idea what I'm doing but I hope you enjoy it! Please leave a comment on what you liked or constructive criticism if you want! This was originally written for a friend, you know who you are ;).

“Bill, I can’t believe Cassandra totally just dumped your ass right there.” 

“Shut up Ted.”

“Like, legit right in front of everyone after you tried to kiss her during that slow song...”

“SHUT _UP_ TED!” Bill's face was flushed as he scrambled out of the gymnasium, Ted half jogging behind him until he caught up. As they entered the empty hallway Bill was still speed-walking, Ted's long legs making the only reason for his ability to keep up.

"Hey, Bill - slow down dude! It's no big deal I'm sure like no one noticed-" 

Bill stopped walking abruptly, causing Ted to run right into him. Ted smiled for a moment, thinking he solved Bill's problem but quickly retracted the expression when he noticed the now angry look on his still flushed face. Ted thought there were tears in his eyes but he wasn't too sure. "Dude EVERYONE saw, you even said it yourself! Mr. Ryan was even whispering to another chaperone as we left… don't you understand how totally heinous my situation is!? I'm the laughing stock of San Dimas and you're just making it worse!" Ted felt like throwing up when he heard Bill's hurtful words, but when he saw the stray tears slip down Bill's cheek he knew they meant nothing. Bill was always quick to anger and would lash out at the closest person any time he felt overwhelmed, this was nothing compared to the one time Bill lost his swim trunks after a little too bodacious of a ride from a waterside at Waterloo. 

Bill quickly wiped away his tears and turned around in an attempt to hide any others. "Besides…" he mumbled, trying to hide his choked up voice "don't you have a babe to attend to? You totally ditched Veronica right there and she's like, the third hottest chick in our grade dude." 

Ted shrugged nonchalantly, laughing to himself for a moment before responding "oh yeah! Dude, we didn't even go as a couple, it was all a wild charade man! See, after Brendon - like - totally broke her heart, she had no one to go to prom with and said I was the least ugly dude left over to go out with. She said she would buy me a slushie if I helped her make her ex jealous," Ted pondered for a moment before continuing, "Also she totally isn't the third hottest babe, maybe the fifth." 

Bill then whipped his head back around to look at Ted, his brows furrowed and mouth opened in confusion "oh…" His face stayed like that for another moment before turning into the most unprecedented blush as his gaze quickly moved to the floor "oh."

They stood there in silence for another moment, Ted feeling unsure what to say was thankful when Bill continued. "Why didn't you tell me?"

The hurt in Bill's voice was quite present, causing Ted to quickly answer. If Bill shed another tear, Ted knew he would start sobbing himself. "Dude I couldn't tell anyone!" He said, quickly placing his hand on Bill's arm for comfort, "She said to keep it a secret or else I wouldn't get my slushie." 

Bill looked back up at Ted, his eyes narrowing, "Then why did you tell me now?"

Ted pondered on that statement for a while, his mouth hanging open as he connected the dots. 

"Shit." 

Bill laughed as he gave Ted a friendly pat on the back. "Dude, this prom totally blows, let's get out of here." 

Ted completely perked up and nodded, grinning as they continued walking out of the school. "Can we get slushies? That punch they had out there totally left a bitter taste in my mouth." 

That statement once again caused Bill to laugh, making Ted smile even wider "Ted, dude- that's cause James most non-secretly spiked the punch, you didn't notice?"

Ted smacked his lips together a few times until he recognized the somewhat familiar taste of alcohol, it was hard to recall due to the only alcoholic beverages he's tried were some cheap coolers he and Bill stole from Missy’s stash. "Oh yeah!" He exclaimed, the two stopping their exit to share a moment of excellent air guitaring.

"It's too bad the princesses didn't want to go to prom with us, we would have had a most excellent time," Bill said after taking a sip of his blue-raspberry slushie. Ted tried not to watch as Bill darted his tongue out to catch a bit of the blue liquid that dripped down his lip. 

The two ended up at Pizza Joe's, their favourite 24-hour pizza joint. Not due to their pizzas, which they both admitted definitely resembled the flavour of cardboard more than pizza, but the complete lack of other customers and the access to pizza and slushies at the same time. Ted took a sip of his slushie that included a concoction of every flavour (he likes the colourful layers) and nodded. 

"Yeah, but it's totally not their scene anyways, remember how awkward they felt at homecoming?" 

Bill hummed in agreement, looking absentmindedly past the counter in front of them, watching their medium half pepperoni-half cheese pizza being made. 

The princesses were great fun to be around and excellent band members, but soon after they first entered San Dimas, their budding romances with Bill and Ted fizzled out. Fine with Ted if he were to be honest, despite Elizabeth and Johanna being two of the most beauteous babes he's laid his eyes upon, something just didn't feel right whenever he and Elizabeth kissed. Thanks to stealing a pile of old fashioned relic things before their departure, the two could afford some high-end all-female boarding school and seemed to fit in quite well there. In fact, there are two rocking babes that they always seemed to hang out with and would never stop gushing about during practice. Ted actually recalled them mentioning a 'date' they planned out which caused the two to be unable to attend prom. The thought of it all made ted laugh, their friendship with these other babes almost seems stronger than his and Bill's. 

Ted was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Bill holding the pizza box and making his way towards their favourite seating area. He scrambled to catch up, only stumbling once before seating himself in the sticky vinyl booth right next to Bill, who was eagerly opening up the box. The booth was shoved into the back corner, right next to the bathroom that is too disgusting to use, making it the perfect spot for hiding away from the rest of the world. It's where they would copy each other's very incorrect homework, make up top-secret song ideas and where they came up with the name and logo design of Wyld Stallyns. It's a most valuable part of their friendship, and seeing Bill sitting beside him, frantically wiping off pizza sauce from his previously pristine white button-up made Ted feel all giddy inside. 

"Dude, Missy is gonna kill me when she finds out," Bill groaned, setting the pizza slice and napkin down so he could bury his head in his hands. Ted was momentarily distracted by the way his luscious curls bounced during that action before speaking. 

"Bill, let's just switch shirts before we get back to your place. She'll never find out." This was true as both of them purchased the exact same outfit together, the only difference being a slight size change. "I must say though before you sauced up your top, this getup is one savoury look. I definitely feel like your brilliant idea of cutting our slacks into shorts was an excellent choice." Ted picked up a slice of cheese pizza and quickly took a bite, attempting to ignore the fluttery feeling in his heart.

He wasn't wrong though, Bill was looking his absolute best that night; Ted recalled the feeling of his heart stopping when Bill showed up at his front door to pick him up. 

In like - a non-gay way of course. 

Bill rolled his eyes at the compliment, a blush forming on his cheeks as he bit his lip to hide back a grin. "I was totally thinking the same thing… about you -I mean." 

There was a moment of intensely confusing eye contact that only ended when the cheese on top of the pizza that Ted was holding slid off of the slice and landed in the cardboard box. They both looked over at the pile of much too greasy cheese and airily chuckled at the situation, thankful for that interruption.

Ted picked up the saucy cheese blob and attempted to place it back on his slice, quickly eating it before it slid off again. Bill briefly muttered 'that's gross dude,' before changing the subject. "Y'know, I don't think either of the babes were digging our suits. Cassandra asked if I was gonna change before we went inside." 

"No way! That is most disrespectful of her dude," Ted thought about Veronica's reaction and suddenly realized that that scoff and grimace was not meant in admiration. "I guess you're right Bill, our luck with the babes has vastly diminished overtime." 

Bill nodded slowly, his lips pursed in thought. Ted couldn't help but gaze at the intense plushness the pout made Bill's lips look, and soon became distracted by the way his face is squished against the palm of his hand, Bill would often rest his face in his hands while in deep thought, using the table in front of him as support for his weight. 

Although Ted was well aware of how often he admired his friend in any situation, he couldn't believe how entranced he has become by Bill's every move this night. Maybe it was because he felt bad for Bill after getting rejected earlier. 

Maybe because he just looked too damn good for any human with eyes not to notice. 

Or maybe…

__

_ 'No way.’  _ Ted thought to himself as he shook the idea out of his head. Thinking was not his forte anyways, and the bogus concept that popped in his mind was most definitely a mishap. 

Probably.

Thankfully, Bill's voice snapped him out of these most unprecedented thoughts. "Ted, I'm gonna be real with you," he cringed as he quickly looked around them to make sure no one was listening before leaning in a bit closer to Ted, which most definitely did not help block out these new-founded thoughts he was currently dealing with 

Ted swallowed nervously before whispering "Yeah dude?" 

Bill licked his lips (which Ted most definitely noticed) before once again frowning slightly. "I didn't really like Cassandra. Like - sure - she is totally high on the babe-metre… but, I only tried to kiss her cause I saw that you kissed Veronica." 

Ted hated that he felt strangely upset by the mundane confession, he nearly wanted to laugh at what he thought was about to happen. Instead, he laughed at Bill's confusion between him and Veronica. 

"Bill, dude, I didn't kiss her. I kissed her cheek because she asked me to. To like - make it more believable; I think Brendon was watching or something," Ted smiled wider when he heard Bill snicker at the comment. He shook his head at this utterly ridiculous predicament, butting his shoulder against Bill's who was still shaking with laughter. 

Bill sighed looking down at their barely eaten pizza and half-melted slushies. "Ted, sometimes I think wooing ladies is the only expedition we can't beat." He picked up his slushie and took a small sip before continuing. "I mean - we travelled through time and have an almost excellent band… everything is perfect except for our love life." 

The strange feeling in his stomach returned again and he watched Bill take another sip of his slushie, the bright blue dye beginning to temporarily colour his lips. Ted wasn't one for overthinking but he felt like he was with the things Bill was saying. Surely, he and Bill were not on the same page at all, Bill would only have babes on his mind, not… 

Or would he?

Ted remained unsure about those thoughts but was plenty aware of the fact that he was close enough to smell the cologne on Bill's attire (it's quite familiar as Ted uses the same scent). They sat close enough to feel the warmth of Bill's skin radiating onto his and enjoyed the way his eyelashes flutter shut when he blinks. All nothing special in particular but it seemed so different tonight. Ted was so distracted he almost didn't notice Bill was speaking right away. 

"It almost seems like we are the only two dudes around here that get each other. Like - I know in the future we are the most excellent of people but right now? We can’t even get a date to last an entire night." Bill chuckles melancholically, making Ted fight the urge to hold Bill in an attempt to make him feel better. Instead, he decided upon shifting himself even closer to Bill, to the point where their sides are now touching. Bill either didn't notice or didn't mind, and Ted was very much grateful for that. 

Bill let go of his head and rested it against the back of the seat chuckling to himself. "Ted, dude, wouldn't it be absolutely bodacious if we found like… the babe versions of us? Like a version of you - but with tits. Like... those would be the perfect babes for us."

If this was any other kind of day, Ted would have simply laughed along with that concept and moved on. But tonight was quite different. After these past few moments of some most bodacious discoveries about Bill's beauty and his own curiosity, that statement felt like a calling, so Ted reached out.

"What if... we don't need tits to be each other’s babes?"

Bill turned towards ted with the most puzzled expression on his face "Dude, what are you even talking abou-" 

And with whatever ounce of confidence that Ted had in his body, he ever so gently cupped Bill's face with his right hand and kissed him. 

Kissing Bill is exactly how Ted thought it would be like. His plush lips felt quite lovely against his own, and the feeling of very faint stubble was interesting against his skin, ticklish at first, but he could get used to it. The most shocking thing of all was that Bill kissed him back. Not right away, Ted noticed how his jaw tensed at first but just as he was about to pull back, his face fell slack as he angled his head to deepen the kiss a bit more. It was sickeningly sweet, something a teenage girl would dream of, most definitely not something two dudes in the back of the world’s worst pizza parlour should be experiencing. 

Alas, this anticipated feeling that Ted realized he was yearning for much longer than first expected soon came to an end. Ever so confident, Ted darted his tongue out, licking the bottom of Bill's lip, causing Bill to pull away suddenly, wide-eyed and out of breath. 

Ted didn’t know what to do, his mind as still riding the high of kissing his closest friend, instead of apologizing or ensuring he was not gay (which was a thing that he thought he might have to reconsider) he licked his lips in quite an unsubtle manner, enjoying the faint taste of blue-raspberry that blossomed on his tongue. Blushing furiously when he realized how very unprecedented his actions were, Ted opened his mouth, ready for a pile of apologies to spill out. 

"Bill, dude - fuck man... I'm so-" 

But Bill abruptly stood up, his face still as flushed as ever while quickly interrupting. "I think it's time we go home dude." Bill hardly managed to say that before turning around and walking out the store, leaving Ted to quickly pick up the leftover pizza and now melted slushies while following after him. 

Despite his multiple speeding and parking tickets after only having his license for 5 months, Bill's father thankfully let him drive the station wagon to prom in order to 'woo the ladies'. The thought of this now most definitely made Ted want to laugh, but the oddly blank expression on Bill's face stopped him from doing so. 

This heavy silence between them was a most unusual and upsetting experience for Ted, as he knew he was the cause for it. What was going to happen after tonight? What about their band? What about… them? 

Ted physically shook those thoughts out of his head and let his face rest against the windowpane, feeling cool against his still flushed skin. He could see Bill's eyes staring directly at him anytime he hit a red light, but would silently turn back to the road once it turned green. The heavy stare left a bogus mixture of emotions sitting in his stomach, making him regret the speed he drank his leftover slushie at, his nervousness always leading to him stress eating. 

But kissing Bill made Ted realize this sudden crush appeared with ease because it was actually not sudden at all. Ted totally had the hots for his colleague for years now, all those dreams he left behind after a cold shower, the moments where Ted would be caught gazing at him, the constant need to be with him, this is a feeling that he should have felt for a babe, but Bill had all of it.

Bill was everything to him, and he totally blew it. 

And not in the way that Ted was hoping for. 

As the van slowly rolled to a stop in front of Ted's place, he suddenly felt conflicted about leaving. On one hand, Ted wishes he could just run into his home and forget about this heinous experience, but on the other, this may be his absolute final time and Bill will even want to speak with him. But ever the gentleman, Ted chose the least uncomfortable option for his friend. 

"I'm uh- totally sorry about tonight, I'll talk to you later dude," Ted nearly mumbled, his hand now on the door handle. 

He pushed it open and attempted to leave, only to be incapable by something that was pulling him back. Ted totally assumed it was just his seatbelt, it is not the first time his forgetful mind would have left it on. And although he was right about the seatbelt, he soon noticed that there was another force keeping him there, Bill. 

Literally, his hand was clutching Ted's wrist. 

"Don't go dude," Bill said way too desperately, especially after Ted's non-triumphant move at Pizza Joe's. Bill blinked adorably a few times before continuing, "We - uh - we need to trade shirts, remember?" 

"Oh."

Ted sat back in his seat, tentatively removing his jacket and bowtie before fiddling with the buttons of his top. Despite these most non-platonic feelings Ted's got for Bill, the idea of them being shirtless in front of each other was not exactly an experience Ted was ready for today. 

Sure he's seen his friend without a top many times before, most of them in a more idyllic place than Missy's station wagon, but when he glanced up, holding his shirt in his hands, the sight of a topless Bill bathed in blue moonlight quite literally took his breath away.

Legit, he was so stunned he ended up coughing to start breathing again.

"Here dude, hope your mom doesn't have a fit," Ted murmured, ripping his eyes away from Bill's totally toned chest. He was so worried about upsetting his friend again that he didn't even notice the way Bill gazed at Ted's figure just as longingly. 

"Ted, dude?" Bill finally said, both shirts now sitting in his hands. Ted nervously looked in his eyes and responded.

"Yeah?" 

Bill broke their eye contact for a moment, his face scrunched up in thought before speaking again. "I think… I think we gotta kiss again dude. Like, try it again" 

This response was most unexpected. 

"But Bill," Ted spoke with the greatest of unease "Wouldn’t that make us gay?" 

Bill pondered on that concept for a while, "Dude, how do we know we are gay if we don’t kiss?" 

Ted retaliated, very much wishing to not make his friend react as he did before, "But how can we kiss if we are not gay?" 

Bill let out a small frustrated sigh before quickly chiding, "Do you wanna kiss me or not?" 

Ted opened his mouth, closed it, and broke eye contact by looking down at his lap. After a moment he looked back up and replied in a shy tone. "Are you sure you want me to?" 

Bill immediately nodded, his whole head bobbing as he did so. And that was all Ted needed to see for him to reach over and kiss his best friend again. 

It was a totally righteous feeling to have Bill's lips against his own, this time riddled with more passion than tenderness. Bill had one hand clinging onto Ted's wrist which was placed firmly on the gear stick to balance him, while Bill’s other hand blindly searched for the keys to turn the engine off. With much more eagerness than Ted assumed he would have, Bill quickly got out of his seat and maneuvered his way onto Ted's lap, only breaking apart the kiss occasionally to whisper 'Ow' every time he hit his head off the top of the car and 'Dude, move your seat back' when Bill ended up with half his ass on the dashboard. 

Ted giggled and moved his seat back with so much eagerness that he did so too fast and hit their foreheads together. The dissolved into another fit of laughter before Bill continued the kiss again, his hands now roaming around Ted's bare chest. The shaky, pleasured sigh Ted let out opened his lips enough to allow Bill to slip his tongue; the low moan that Ted made next was completely involuntary, but was rewarded with a small whine from Bill, which was definitely the most beautiful noise he has ever heard.

Despite the bodacious experience, the feeling of Bill touching his body and making the most excellent use of his tongue became quite overwhelming to Ted, who only just realized this is what he desires mere moments ago. All this stimulation has left Ted quite frozen in place, it took him a solid five minutes of the most gnarly make out sesh he's had to realize his hands were glued to his sides.

Being quite honest, Ted wasn’t entirely sure what to do with his hands. Sure he has kissed a few girls before and had one steamy moment in the eleventh grade that nearly ended with a handy if Bill didn't end up calling him, but this was different. This was Bill, his most triumphant friend and now hottest babe-dude he's been with, he can't mess this up. Tentatively, he moved his hands onto Bill’s lower back, briefly considering to grab his ass but unsure if that would be taking it too far.

‘ _ Maybe later _ ’ he thought to himself, but soon stopped thinking altogether when Bill experimentally brushed his thumb over Ted's nipple. He gasped, breaking the kiss by tilting his head up slightly.

Bill smiled at the reaction, now peppering kisses along Ted's jaw, repeating the motion with his thumb again to which Ted whined, a totally unmanly sound that turned him a deep shade of red. Bill pulled away to look at Ted, his hooded eyes and parted lips nearly made Ted whimper.

"Dude," he whispered, his voice in a deep tone that Ted had never heard before, "Why haven't we done this sooner?"

He didn't know how to respond and thankfully didn't have to due to Bill's lips crashing onto his. Ted must admit, Bill is a most excellent kisser. The way he licked into Ted's mouth most ravishingly while his hands slowly travelled up from Ted's chest to his hair, gently tugging on his locks once he got a handful had Ted feeling quite dizzy with pleasure. Becoming bolder, Ted caught Bill's bottom lip between his teeth and pulled away slightly, sucking on it as his tongue slowly swirled around his lip. Bill seemed to definitely enjoy that move, when their eyes met Ted was faced with a most sultry look that immediately made him feel the need to kiss him again. 

When their lips most triumphantly reunited, Bill attempted to shift even closer to Ted, his knees now hitting the back of the seat creating a complete lack of space between them. 

It was just then that Ted realized his hands that were once most respectfully sitting on Bill's hips slowly made their way to his ass, his hands cupping the very bottom allowing Bill to shift some of his weight there. After his previous totally successful move, he attempted another one, this time squeezing Bill’s ass at first shyly, then a bit harder when the first time gave no reaction. 

Ted must agree, this was a most bodacious idea. 

Bill gasped in Ted's mouth, finishing the noise with a small grunt, causing his hips to buck forward, the obscene movement being most thrilling and making Ted do the same. Bill tipped his head back during that brief moment of pleasure showing off his far too enticing neck. Ted leaned forward and kissed it first, soon after biting and sucking on the area, hoping he wasn't hurting his friend while doing so. 

The moment he heard small whimpers he immediately let go, pulling back and ready to apologize when Bill spoke up first, gasping for air between every word. 

"Ted dude - no - keep... keep going, felt good" he rolled his hips again, reliving that blissful friction, causing Ted to want the same. 

They continued like that, grinding against each other as Ted worked on leaving an ungodly amount of hickeys over any part of Bill's body he could reach, totally relishing the various noises he was managing to get out of Bill. Ted wasn't much better off, grunting and moaning anytime they attempted to move in a proper rhythm. In the back of his mind he thought about how as musicians they should be better at this, but the current situation he was in clearly begged for more attention. 

Forgetting about the hickeys, Ted rested his sweaty forehead on Bill's chest and began using his hands as an attempt to guide Bill's hips in a more synchronized fashion. His hands now gripping tightly to Bill's ass made him move even faster, the both of them now babbling out phrases of pleasure mixed in with each other’s names, Ted being well aware of the fact that if they kept this up he would not last much longer. 

Bill's hands slid down from his hair to his jawline, lifting up Ted's face to meet with his, quickly exchanging sloppy, lust-driven kisses before pulling back both his face and hips. Ted whimpered in a most embarrassing way at the sudden lack of Bill's body pressed against his but was quickly shushed by Bill's finger pressing against his lips. 

"Ted," Bill started, licking his now swollen lips while searching for the words "I wanna - uh - try something." 

"Wha iz it?" Ted attempted to say with Bill's finger still smushed against his lips. He dropped his hand, one falling against his side while the other held Ted's shoulder. 

Bill suddenly looked nervous, his face turning a most enticing shade of red, making Ted want to kiss the heated area. "I- I uh… well - can you just trust me? And like - tell me if you want me to stop, got it?" 

Ted had a quite perplexed look on his face but agreed anyways, he has totally trusted Bill about everything before, there is absolutely no reason to question him now, especially with that wickedly cute meek expression he is showing. 

Bill nodded, a sudden determination placed on his face. He leaned forward, kissed Ted once, twice, three times, before looking in between them, for the first time properly acknowledging their totally hard cocks. Carefully, he made his way to unbutton Ted's slacks/shorts (Ted kept on calling them slorts but it didn't seem to catch on) and zipped down the fly, the feeling of Bill's hand brushing against his dick enough to make him arch his back from anticipation. 

Bill chuckled softly at the response, and kissed Ted rather sweetly, a totally unexpected move during a most raunchy moment like this. Pulling his face away slowly, he looked into Ted's eyes yet again, checking to ensure that Ted was still okay with all of this. When no signs showed a disinterest, he carefully slipped a hand into Ted's pants first, palming at his cock through the thin layer of boxers, almost as a test to not scare his friend off. Ted gasped, his hands sliding off of Bill's ass to tightly grip onto the armrests in an attempt to manage some sense of composure. He continued to make various pleasured noises, especially enjoying the feeling of Bill kissing his jaw again, making his way up to Ted's ears before nibbling at the lobe, a completely new feeling that he had no idea he would love. 

Eventually either gaining confidence or losing patience, Bill grabbed the waistband of Ted's shorts and boxers, mumbled: "Lift your hips dude" and slid them down just enough to allow his aching cock to spring out. Ted was most relieved at the feeling, his head moving back against the headrest to allow him a few gulps of air. 

A moment passed where nothing happened, Ted looked down to see Bill staring blankly at his dick, with a deep shade of red present on his face.

"Do you know what you're doing dude?" Ted asked genuinely, unsure of what was going on. 

Bill grunted, getting slightly defensive. "Of course I do Ted, I've totally jacked off before" 

Before Ted could say anything in return, Bill quickly spat into his hand and wrapped his hand around him, dragging his thumb over the head to elicit a response. Ted slammed his head back onto the headrest, a most filthy moan rippling out of his throat. Bill continued to look down at what he was doing with the most intense concentration, what started at first slightly sloppy and out of rhythm soon turned into the greatest thing ted had ever felt, Bill was doing something with his wrist that was working wonders on him, and it wasn't long until some totally delirious babbling was crawling out of Ted's throat. 

Through this sea of overwhelming pleasure, Ted thought to reciprocate it, blindly searching for Bill's crotch and giving it a tight squeeze when he did so. Bill's hand faltered at that movement, arching at the feeling causing his head to fall onto Ted's shoulder. He quickly resumed pumping his hand as Ted fumbled to try and do the same, eventually giving up with buttons and just pulling Bill's shorts down with all his strength. Ted licked his own hand for safe measure and slipped his hand between them, continuously sticking to any part of sweaty skin that he met with. Eventually finding Bill's abandoned cock, he quickly closed his hand around it, experimentally stroking up and down a few times struggling to do it right.

It turns out jacking another dude is way harder than he thought, especially when that hot and sweaty dude is doing the exact same thing to him. 

He continued trying, repeating motions when Bill made any very satisfied noise or bit into his shoulder, relishing the times when Bill would gasp out at "Faster, do it faster." 

Ted used his free hand to shakily lift Bill's head up to exchange more filthy open-mouthed kisses, eventually settling for desperately gasping into each other’s mouths with their foreheads pressed together, chanting out small praises and each other’s names when not panting for air. 

Bill once again swiped his thumb over the head of Ted's cock before quickening the pace, very quickly making Ted lessen his already poor handjob abilities. Ted was close, he could feel the pit of his stomach warm up as his gasps turned into high pitched whimpers.

"Bill, dude I’m - fuck - I'm gonna blow," Ted managed to gargle out between his cries. In a most unexpected move, Bill shoved their mouths together again, sucking on Ted's tongue as his other hand crept down from his shoulder to pinch at his nipple. Ted cried out in pleasure, spilling all over his own chest and Bill's hand. Bill continued stroking Ted through his orgasm, the overstimulation making him see white. He slumped over, his head resting on Bill's shoulder, his mind muddy as he left his cheek stuck against Bill's warm skin. As his mind slowly started working again, the first thing he noticed was the feeling of Bill still rutting into his now very loose fist.

Oh yeah, Bill is totally still rock hard. 

Peeling himself off of Bill, he managed to regain control of his body and proceeded to jerk off his friend with all his might, despite his arm now being totally sore. 

Ted once again tugged at Bill's bottom lip before licking into his mouth, pulling away just as Bill was about to speak. 

"Dude, I'm gonna-" his words were choked off as he threw his head back, clearly nearing his climax. Not wanting to add to the mess, Ted quickly tried to cover Bill's tip with his other hand, deeming not to be a brilliant idea as semen soon just pooled over both of his hands and Bill's shorts. Grimacing, Ted looked up at Bill's face as he watched him shudder with pleasure, his face screwed beautifully shut as he whined out Ted's name. This was most definitely one hell of a turn on. 

Bill's hands which were once tightly gripping Ted's shoulders fell to his sides, his head still angled up, practically smushed against the ceiling of the vehicle as he heaved for air. Ted watched as his friend's chest moved up and down; he wanted to gently hold Bill's hips, tracing lazy circles with his thumbs so he did so, frowning when he realized he'd forgotten about the sticky mess all over his hands. 

"The glove box," Bill panted, in a most exhausted tone. 

"What?" Ted was totally still riding the high of this entire situation, causing his mind to not exactly connect any piece of information. 

"Napkins," Bill gulped before speaking again, "in the glove box dude." 

"Oh." 

Ted awkwardly reached around Bill to open up the glove compartment, shifting through various papers, shades of lipstick, condoms (which he totally made a spectacle of to make Bill groan in embarrassment) before finding a wad of paper napkins, immediately using them to try and clean the both of them off, blushing most furiously when he attempted to wipe off the stains on Bill's pants. 

"Well dude," Ted shrugged, "I don't think your mom will be mad about the pizza sauce stain anymore." 

There was silence for a moment, Ted looked up, concern growing most heinously until his eyes met with Bill's. His ravishingly blue eyes sparked the same emotion as Ted's, making a wave of relief wash over him. He smiled wide, causing Bill to smile too before they burst into a small fit of giggles. 

“Dude,” Ted began to say, in between laughs, “We totally gave each other handys in Missy’s car.”

“Yeah, and right in front of your house too!” Bill retaliated before they continued laughing, sharing a very uncomfortable high-five.

Eventually, Bill awkwardly hoisted his shorts back up, Ted quickly doing the same, having just enough time to zip up his fly before Bill leant forward, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. It was far too hot in the vehicle to do such a thing, but Ted couldn't care less, he brought a hand to Bill's curls, gently bouncing each lock his fingers could find. 

"Why'd you change your mind?" 

"Hm?" Bill mumbled, definitely half asleep. He lifted up his head and looked at Ted dopily, a small smile on his face. 

Ted smiled back, wanting to kiss him, but more determined to get his answer first. "Back at the booth dude. What - uh - made you change your mind?" 

Bill frowned, recalling the moment, "I mean, you totally surprised me, dude! I didn't even know I wanted to kiss you until… well just after that moment." 

Ted lifted his head up, full of excitement "Bill dude! Me too!" 

They attempted a moment of air guitar but soon realized the most cramped area is not ideal for the situation. Bill was smiling once again most beautifully and Ted once again felt a need to kiss him, this time actually doing so, and did it again, and again, and again…. 

"Ted!" Bill said between giggles as Ted moved away from his lips and onto his jaw, soon dragging his lips along Bill's neck "dude, that tickles!" 

Ted grinned against Bill's skin, soon feeling sleepy himself, especially due to the way Bill was carefully combing through his hair. He found himself dozing off very briefly until Bill nudged him. 

"Dude, my legs totally hurt right now. Plus I uh, I gotta go home." 

Taking a few moments to comprehend the situation, Ted begrudgingly leaned back into his seat, allowing Bill to stiffly move back into his own, once again hitting his head off the top of the station wagon before sitting down with a solid grunt. They sat in silence for a moment, neither wanting the moment to end. At some point, Ted intertwined his hand with Bill's, who hummed happily in response. 

"Ted?" 

"Yeah Bill?" 

"Does this make us gay?" 

Ted paused, thinking most deeply. "I don’t know," He finally said because he didn't. This whole situation is most puzzling. "But I want to do that again. Like, with you dude." 

Ted looked most wistfully at his friend… with benefits. Bill was still looking out the windshield, the moonlight enchantingly framing his face. "Yeah," he finally responded, turning towards his companion… also with benefits "Me too, with you." 

They shared a final, tender kiss between them before Ted finally exited the vehicle, Bill's shirt and his own jacket in hand, dopily waving goodbye until the station wagon turned around the corner. 

Although most confused and unsure about this new revelation, the thought of Bill kissing him back reminisced in his mind, and everything began to feel totally okay.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT
> 
> Hey everyone, thanks for reading! I have something super fucking cool to add here, I commissioned my good friend [@flrdgs](https://flrdgs.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr to draw a scene from this fic and oh my God guys... just check it out here.
> 
> Make sure to give her some love on her Tumblr or in the comments! I'll be sure to relay the message!


End file.
